Why BHVA Chooses Growth Instead

Today we want to talk about why we have an issue with the whole ‘positive mindset’ approach.

At BHVA, we don’t subscribe to the idea that you have to be positive about everything all the time. It’s not realistic, and honestly, it can be harmful.

We see ‘positive mindset’ messages everywhere—shops, social media, even in conversations with well-meaning people. But the truth is, life isn’t always positive, and it’s okay for things to be tough. The key isn’t pretending everything’s fine; it’s about how you deal with things when they’re not.

Why Positive Mindset Can Be Harmful

So, what’s the problem with a positive mindset?

It’s the pressure. It puts this huge expectation on us to be cheerful and upbeat no matter what. When life isn’t going well—whether it’s a setback, a failure, or just one of those tough days—being told to ‘stay positive’ can feel like you’re being forced to put on a mask. You’re expected to smile through things even when it feels impossible, which isn’t fair.

Instead of helping, it can actually set people up for failure. Telling someone they can do anything is fine until they face something they can’t do. And then what? The pressure to be positive becomes overwhelming, and people can end up feeling worse about themselves because they think they’re failing at something as simple as being ‘positive.’

The "Sticky Plaster Effect"

It’s like putting a plaster over a wound that needs air to heal.

At first, it might seem like the right solution, but all it does is trap the problem underneath.

Things fester, and you never actually address the issue.

It’s the same with always trying to stay positive; you’re just covering up the real problem, and when the plaster comes off, the wound is still there, and sometimes it’s even worse.

Why Growth Mindset Works

This is why we’re so passionate about growth mindset instead.

Growth mindset is about being real with yourself.

It’s about accepting that things won’t always be easy, but knowing that you can learn, adapt, and grow through those challenges.

It’s not about being positive; it’s about being proactive.

Instead of sticking a plaster over things and hoping for the best, you’re figuring out how to move forward. It’s an active process.

For example, instead of saying, “I can do this” when you’re not sure you can, a growth mindset approach would be, “I can’t do this yet, but I’m going to learn how.” It’s about accepting where you are, putting in the work, and celebrating the small steps forward.

Hippo Days and Realism

Sometimes, things are just tough, and that’s okay. You don’t have to be positive all the time.

We have this concept called ‘Hippo Days’ where you give yourself permission to wallow.

Yes, you can sink into the mud and feel what you’re feeling—but with a time limit.

It’s about being honest with yourself, allowing time to process, and then picking yourself back up when you’re ready. It’s not about staying stuck; it’s about giving yourself the space to be human.

Practical Tips to Shift from Positive to Growth Mindset

1. Embrace the Power of ‘Yet’: When you feel like you can’t do something, add ‘yet’ to the end of the sentence. It opens up the possibility for growth and learning instead of shutting down progress.

2. Allow Time for Reflection: It’s okay to have a down day. Allow yourself time to feel what you’re feeling, but then make a plan for moving forward.

3. Celebrate Small Wins: Progress isn’t always big and dramatic. Sometimes, it’s the small steps that matter most. Celebrate each little step and recognize your efforts.

4. Focus on Learning, Not Perfection: Every experience, whether good or bad, is a learning opportunity. Instead of aiming for constant happiness, aim to learn something from each situation.

Growth Over Positivity

At BHVA, we believe in the power of growth. It’s not about staying positive; it’s about learning, adapting, and moving forward, even when things aren’t going our way. Positivity is great when it’s genuine, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of honesty. Growth mindset allows you to be real about where you are and where you want to go.

So, next time you’re feeling the pressure to be positive, take a step back. Think about what you’re learning and how you’re growing. That’s the real win.

Let us know how you approach challenges and if you’ve tried using the power of ‘yet.’ We’d love to hear how it’s helped you in your journey!