We’ve all heard it before:

“Just relax.”

“Take a breath.”

“Let go of all the tension.”

Sounds simple, right?

But here’s the truth: if you’ve ever tried to “just relax” before a performance, an audition, or even just in life when someone tells you to chill- you’ll know it’s not that easy.

And actually… it’s not always helpful either.

Today we’re myth-busting some of the most common advice given to performers, students, and creatives.

Spoiler alert: some of it might be doing more harm than good.

MYTH #1: “Just relax”

Let’s be honest - what does that even mean?

If we were to fully relax, we’d be like us at half ten at night: melted into a duvet, brain off, body jelly.

Useful for Netflix.

Not so much for performing, learning or creating.

You can't relax every single muscle in your body. It’s just not possible.

And actually, you shouldn’t.

If you tried to perform without any tension, you’d be like a ragdoll - no presence, no projection, no power.

Especially for those big belty notes or dramatic scenes, your body needs energy.

And that energy = controlled, useful tension.

So instead of aiming to relax, think about how to engage.

MYTH #2: “Tension is bad”

Not all tension is created equal.

The real skill isn’t removing tension - it’s learning to use it well.

Every creative act - whether it’s singing, dancing, acting, drawing, or even public speaking - requires a minimum level of effort. And with the right coach, you’ll learn how to find that sweet spot: just enough engagement to get the job done well, without overworking or burning out. 

Good tension supports your stamina.

It brings focus.

It’s what gives a performance power without pushing.

So yes, tension can be a magic tool - if you know how to wield it.

MYTH #3: “Just breathe”

This is one of our favourites to bust. Why? Because it’s technically true, but used badly.

The problem?

When someone says “just breathe,” what do you do?

Most people gasp in - creating more tension.

Or worse, they hold their breath, and everything starts getting tighter and tighter.

The real tip?

Start with the out breath.

Let the air go.

Your body will naturally refill.

This is crucial for singers, dancers, and even public speakers - your breath flow supports movement, rhythm, vocal control, and emotional expression.

Don’t just breathe. Breathe cleverly.

MYTH #4: “Can’t do it? Just relax, it’ll be fine!”

We’ve all had that moment. Someone’s struggling, frozen in fear, and someone else says:

“Just relax. It’ll be fine.”

The intention is kind - but the impact?

It often makes things worse.

In those moments, the brain is in fight, flight, or freeze mode.

Saying “just relax” adds pressure, not comfort.

Instead, we suggest action:

Move

Stretch

Strike a power pose

Focus on something small and achievable

Movement breaks the mental block. Action re-engages the body. That little bit of engagement brings just enough tension to help someone feel present and back in control.

Here’s the Shift: Relaxation → Engagement

Instead of asking:

“Am I tense?”

Try asking:

“How much engagement do I need right now?”

Start seeing tension as a dial, not an enemy. Sometimes you need more. Sometimes you need less. The real art is knowing how much, where and when.

So next time someone says “just relax,” give them a knowing smile and ask yourself instead:

What do I need to engage?

What can I do in this moment to be more efficient with my body, breath, and brain?

Beccy’s Favourite Reframe: Be Efficient, Not Excessive

Here’s the thing - we often joke about being “lazy,” but what we really mean is being efficient. And in performance, efficiency is key.

Why use more effort than you need? Why engage every muscle in your body when a few key ones will do the job better - and for longer?

Being efficient with your energy and movement isn’t lazy; it’s smart. It helps you last longer in a performance, reduce strain, and feel more in control.

Whether you’re on stage, in rehearsal, or just trying to stay calm in everyday life, that small shift - doing just enough - can make a huge difference.

So don’t aim to do more.

Aim to do what matters.

Our 5 Takeaways

1. You can’t get rid of all tension - and you shouldn’t.

2. Aim for functional tension, not total relaxation.

3. Breathe out first - then trust your body.

4. Replace “just relax” with gentle movement and redirection.

5. Think engage not relax. Efficiency is your friend.

Whether you’re singing on stage, dancing in the kitchen, or trying to give a presentation at work, remember: the goal isn’t to be floppy. It’s to be focused. Controlled. Engaged.

So go on give it a go and bust that myth!

And enjoy finding your most efficient, expressive way to show up.